Starting Again: A Trainer’s Struggles with Separation Anxiety and How I’m Rebuilding

As a separation anxiety dog trainer, I’ve spent years helping dog parents navigate the challenging world of canine separation anxiety. But even with all my knowledge and experience, life has a way of reminding me how far we’ve come on our separation anxiety journey and how it all began.

Two months ago, we moved to a new home. While I knew this change would be a challenge for my separation anxiety dog, I underestimated just how hard it would hit us both. The familiar routines we’d built so carefully were replaced with chaos—boxes everywhere, new smells, and an unfamiliar environment. My dog, who thrives on predictability, struggled. And I did, too.

Just as we were starting to settle in, the holidays arrived. If you’ve ever had a separation anxiety dog, you’ll know how much they depend on routine. The holidays? They’re the polar opposite. Family visits, unpredictable schedules, decorations, and general hustle and bustle threw us completely off track. I tried my best to maintain some semblance of normalcy, but between hosting guests and attending gatherings, it was clear my dog was feeling the strain. And honestly? So was I.

A Reminder of the Journey We’re On

I’d like to tell you that I handled all of this perfectly. That as a professional, I had it all under control. But the truth is, separation anxiety training is a journey, not a one-time fix. It requires consistency, patience, and, above all, compassion—for your dog and yourself.

The move and the holidays set us back. My dog, who had been managing so well before, was now showing signs of distress when I left the room. Whining, pacing, and that unmistakable look of panic were back. It felt like all our hard work had unraveled. And for a moment, I felt like a failure.

But here’s the thing: setbacks happen. They’re a normal part of this process. Life isn’t static, and neither are our dogs. What matters is how we choose to respond.

Starting Again: The Plan

Now that the holidays are behind us, it’s time to rebuild. I’m treating this like a fresh start, and I want to share my plan with you—because if you’re in a similar situation, you’re not alone.

1. Reset Expectations
   Progress isn’t always linear. It’s important to acknowledge where we are today, not where we used to be. My dog needs me to meet them where they are, and that means starting back at the basics of separation anxiety training.

2. Reintroduce Gradual Absences
   I’m going to begin with very short absences—just a few seconds at first—and slowly increase the duration. The key here is to build confidence step by step, avoiding situations that might trigger panic.

3. Rebuild Routine
   Dogs with separation anxiety thrive on structure. I’m focusing on creating a predictable daily routine that includes consistent meal times, exercise, and enrichment. This will help my dog feel secure.

4. Practice Self-Compassion
   It’s easy to feel frustrated or defeated when setbacks occur. But I’m reminding myself that this isn’t a failure—it’s an opportunity to deepen the bond with my dog and refine our training. Progress takes time, and that’s okay.

To Dog Parents Who Feel the Same

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This is me,” I want you to know that you’re not alone. Life is messy, and setbacks are part of the process. Whether it’s a move, the holidays, or any other curveball, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. What matters is taking a deep breath, giving yourself grace, and taking that first step forward.

As a trainer, I’ve learned that the most important tool in this journey isn’t knowledge or experience—it’s empathy. For my dog, for myself, and for every dog parent out there navigating the ups and downs of separation anxiety. We’re in this together.

So here’s to starting over, one small step at a time.